Get married at 24. Everyone in Korea is surprised. And ask how the hell did you decide to get married so quickly? I didn’t think much at first. However, as I kept answering questions and answering them over and over again, my thoughts were sorted out little by little.
When I’m with her, I can put my foot together with the present. I am a person who lived in the future rather than the present. The result has been always more important than the process. Rather than enjoying studying itself, I held out hope for good grades. When I was exercising, I hoped that my body would get better through exercise rather than the pleasure of exercising itself. I thought the process was something I had to endure looking at the achievements I would achieve. For me, happiness did not come from staying in the present, but from getting closer to my goals. Therefore, the days when I couldn’t get close to what I was aiming for were a waste. And the more days I accumulated, the harder it was for me.
It was different when I was with her. Although sometimes I couldn’t reach my goal, it was fine. I could be happy without studying and working. I learned that waking up in the morning together, making food, eating together, and watching Modern Family on Netflix can be so happy. Exercise with her is fun not only for the results but also the exercising. I can even laugh at the time I go to the gym. Even in the subway could be an enjoyable moment if I went with her and listening to Harry Potter. It is now possible to live present.
With her, ordinary days become special. I’ve always hated ordinary things. If everyone else likes blue, I decide to like pink, and when everyone else goes to Germany and the United States as an exchange student, I went to Finland. I didn’t enjoy the ordinary days of my life. Happy days were special days such as travel, go abroad, and when I made a presentation in front of people. Ordinary days are just existing, and happy days are unusual days. For me, happiness existed as a dot rather than a line.
But with her, all the ordinary things become special. The ordinary meeting with her family was made through Zoom as a meeting for Finnish, English, and Korean. Even Korean, which used to be natural like air, would feel so special when communicating with her in Korean. I didn’t know that the road from my home to the library of Seoul National University, which had passed hundreds of times, was so pretty or so new. There were hundreds of cherry blossoms she had never seen before in her life, beautiful autumn leaves, mountains that were not in her country were seen in the background, and libraries that deserved awards were magnificently behind us. The road is now a very special one for me.
In Korea, it seems natural to get married after the age of 30. Of course, in Korea, if you get married at the age of 24, you are the fastest among all friends around you. However, marriage at the age of 24 is not necessarily fast if you widen your eyes a little and put it all over the world. Her mother got married at the age of 18. It’s not fast at all when compared to that. There is no absolute standard in the world anyway. If I’m ready and I’m excited, I do it.
Marriage is grand when it comes to grandeur, but on the other hand, it is very simple when you think simple. If your daily life is great with someone, and if you’re excited and looking forward to the future you’re going to be with this person, just make a promise to be with each other.
So I promise to get married, to be with the one.